writing inconveniences

10 Things I Hate About Being A Writer

A few weeks ago, I listed 10 Things I Loved About Being A Writer and as I was creating the list, I knew eventually, I’d have to do this one too.
Enjoy, and lend a few of your own if you have some to share.

1. My Internet searches of ‘explosive assembly’, ‘how to hide post-mortem forensic evidence’, and ‘biological hazards’ have tagged me on National Home Security’s watch list.

2. When my muse begins envisioning the next great story, it is often at the most inappropriate occasions, in which others around me may interpret my aloof presence as bored arrogance or deficient cognitive functioning.

3. My grammar mistakes are more publicly broadcast than the first Roswell UFO sighting.

4. Group insurance policy, 401K, paid vacation—sick days…right.

5. Since writing requires genuine authenticity from the writer…I have been: shot; betrayed; ripped off; backstabbed; suspected of murder, murdered; chased; and lost in the woods for days—with no compensation.

6. I am suspicious of every black, stuffed, plastic garbage bag lying on the side of the road.

7. I would be poor if I didn’t lead a double life.

8. Wait, I don’t have a life.

9. My coworkers (you) could be total weirdoes, who upon meeting, I might actually turn and flee for my life, but the comforts of blogging have hidden these important details from me.

10. I think it is the garbage man who is blackmailing me.

15 thoughts on “10 Things I Hate About Being A Writer”

  1. Another great list Erin! #1 rings pretty close to home for me – in my world of urban crime, ruthless low-lifes, and seedy criminals, I spend a lot of time online researching everything from the intricacies of guns to drug names/prices on the street to biker gangs (there was a recent incident when when my wife looked over my shoulder as I was reading about life inside prison and asked "is there something you need to tell me?"I would also add that one of the things I hate about being a writer is the total anger that rages inside me when I read or hear about someone like Snooki getting a publishing contract…..there are no world to describe that horror.


  2. Is No. 1 REALLY true, Erin … Great list. I guess mine would be that I don't enjoy things the way I would like… I can't simply watch a TV show or movie and not be either in awe of how it was written or disgusted that it even got made. Same with stories… I am a slow reader simply because I dissect pretty much everything.Nice list. Love these.


  3. Just recalled one other "co-miseration" a la #1:When going to update your blog, your computer is suspiciously routed through the FBI servers first.You write ONE story about crappy airport security …


  4. #2 I understand that one, my nearest and dearest have diagnosed me with Aspergers. For if I'm thinking of something a family member can tell me they need to have their right leg amputated and I'll reply, "That's nice, you any good at hopping?" whilst still thinking on the story or writing.I've worked really hard on my 'Leave me alone' face.


  5. Sadly, these all ring too, too true. Especially #2. And I'm as weird as you ;^) I have many more than 10, but here are a few I'm feeling most acutely:–My neighbors think I'm a snob when out walking (to think through a plot point or a character) and I don't say hello. I don't see them. Really, I don't.–I get irritable when I have social plans that do not involve writing or writers.–I use my vacation days to write.Peace…


  6. David – that is probably the #1 hate – never enough time!MJS – :) I love all your lists, especially the third!Laura – I guess none of us are truly alone! Now, off to get that shredder.Paul – thanks! I knew someone could feel my pain and appreciate the sacrifices.MK – I'm full of mistakes…I couldn't possibly concern myself with them all;)Chris – thank you! that actually makes me feel better.


  7. … Thinking up the perfect alternate ending the moment the story has gone "live".and as to #9 – I take great offense! There's no "could be" about it. We all spend our best hours crafting alternate versions of reality! If that doesn't say "weirdo", nothing does.


  8. Had to laugh at Number 5 – I think it is WRONG! that you had to suffer those things without pay. Isn't there a union??Great list, Erin…will have a look at the other list…I seem to have missed it.


  9. I get writer's butt from sitting too long.I spend more time with my virtual Facebook writer friends than my real ones, wait, I don't have real ones.I'm rejected more than an Iowa farm girl looking for a date.I have 77 spiral bound notebooks, each half full, but no way to differentiate what is in any of them.My editor is #1 on my speed-dial ahead of my wife.


  10. Ha! My hate would be having to WORK…when I just really want to be writing. One day, one day.Regards, Erin and congrats on Grave Echoes. Another novel to add to my "to read list".


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